What a difference a year can make.

Before you think I have completely lost my mind - no Emma is not 1 yet 

(that will be a different post next month)  

Do you remember being a kid and wanting to do something and your parents would tell you "wait until next year".  Maybe the next year you would be old enough, tall enough to ride the ride, or maybe you just needed to wait for another reason.  It would seem like that year would take forever, and you may have even forgotten what you were waiting to do.  Of course the year before you get your driver's license took forever, the Junior year took forever, and for some being 20 took forever.  Isn't it strange how that time lapse changes as you get older. Now it seems that time flies by, and by the time you blink your eye a year has passed.

While time did not fly by all of those months waiting to get pregnant, the past year has flown by.  It seems like only yesterday that I found out I was expecting let alone almost a year ago since the most priceless gift was placed in my arms.

A few things that happened last year:

In May, Steve's dad passed away and while there was no relationship there for many years the death set a lot of things in motion.  It was so strange to walk into a home of a man that I had never met and see similarities between him and Steve.  They share some of the same interests, both collect baseball caps, and love to garden.  We spent a lot of time at the house and in the garden, and I saw it as a way of Steve healing and dealing with the past

During this time, we reconnected with Steve's sister Wendy.  In the past year they have been able to have the relationship that the two of them had missed out on for so many years.  She comes to visit, we go out to eat, and Emma is able to know her Aunt who she would have possibly never known if this had not happened.  She is great, and it still feels strange to have a sister-in-law at times, but look how much that has changed in only 1 year.

A year ago in May was the last time that one of my brother's actually talked to me.  We have always been close, but when it comes to the issue of homosexuality we disagree.  We have different opinions and instead of him realizing that we are different people he chose to remove himself from my life. I am fine with agreeing to disagree but he chose to say lots of mean things, name calling, and in all honesty be a person that I do not know.  He has never met Emma, called me to check on her, purchased a Christmas present for her, or shown any interest to get to know her.  That is someone who I never expected him to be.  It has hurt me, but I have to focus on the person who matters more - Emma.  As an ongoing issue - my own dad has never shown an interest in Emma either, but she is not the one missing out.  She is loved by those who care about her.

 It has been a year since we had our baby showers, and this time last year we had no idea how much our life was going to change.  Even though you know the baby is going to change your life forever you cannot describe it.  Even now I can't describe how she has changed my life.  I see things through a different set of eyes, hear with a different set of ears, and more than anything love with a new found heart.

As you can see, in the past year we have had good times, bad times, easy times, and difficult times but through all of those times Steve and I were made stronger.  My best friend has been by my side through the roller coaster ride, and I wouldn't want it any other way.  It will be fun to see what the next year will bring for us.