When was the last time I washed her hair.

I ran across this article and it was completely breath taking because it is so true.

"I thought it was a night like any other night. I was folding the laundry on my bed, listening to my daughter sing her heart out in the shower. Then my throat tightened and I felt panic set in. When did I last wash her hair?

I ran to the bathroom and opened the door so I could yell inside, 'Katie, do you need any help washing your hair?'

Her reply brought tears to my eyes, 'No, Mama. I’m fine.'

I’ve always tried my best to appreciate every day with my seven children. There has been a motto I’ve lived with in parenting ever since I had my first child:

Make sure they remember joy yesterday, experience joy today, and anticipate joy tomorrow.

I just didn’t know tomorrow would come so soon.

I’m a firm believer in kids playing hard and getting dirty. And my two oldest daughters sure did that. Every day, they were out in the Arizona sunshine–climbing, digging, swinging, and getting very, very dirty. Children have to get dirty. It’s a universal law. And I’m not about to tamper with universal law.

But with dirt, comes baths. I remember when my two oldest daughters, Kelsey and Katie, would take baths together. I would wash their hair, then let them play in the bathtub for awhile. It was our routine. Then they got older. Baths turned into showers, but I was still there to come in and help them wash their hair. Then the hair washing turned into just helping them rinse out the shampoo. Then the rinsing turned into the occasional, “let’s go back in the shower and I’ll help you rinse that one spot on top of your head.”

Then came, “No, Mama. I’m fine.”

Here’s the deal with motherhood: It’s our job to raise independent kids; but no one tells you how to handle it when it really happens.

That night, it happened.

I thought back–When was the last time? When was the last moment I rinsed the shampoo out of her hair? Why didn’t I know it was the last time? If I would have known, I would have done a better job, or made it last longer, or kissed her head, or something.

I would have done something!

I couldn’t see the laundry anymore because the tears blurred my vision. But I kept folding. Folding and praying. 'God, help me remember how quickly this is going by. Help me appreciate every single day–even the hard ones. Show me the beauty in each moment–even the bad ones.'

The cure isn’t to slow down. That’s impossible. The cure is a heart of wisdom. The wisdom to know that broken dishes, stained clothes, and spilled food are never reasons to lose your temper. The wisdom to know that school assignments can always be done later, after the sun sets and the mud puddles have all dried up. The wisdom to know that every moment is a sacred moment–changing diapers, snuggling on the sofa, swinging at the park, even washing hair. They’re all sacred, if you can just slow down enough to see it.

There will be a last fort with chairs and blankets. There will be a last story before bed. There will be a last outfit put on a Barbie doll. There will be a last swing at the park. We don’t need to know when the last one will be. We just need the heart of wisdom to appreciate each one.

I took a little longer brushing her hair tonight. And I lingered as I put her hair into a single braid down her back. When I kissed her goodnight, it lasted a couple more seconds than usual. Because after seven children and years of thinking I had all the time in the world, I realized something. life will run off with you if you let it. Sometimes, you just have to stop and breathe it in.

Thank you, God, for braids before bedtime. Thank you for messy kitchens and legos on the floor. Thank you for noisy dinner times and late-night conversations, for forts, baby dolls, fingerpaint, and bedtime stories. Thank you for broken wrists and shampoo for brunettes. Thank you for teaching me to number my days. And, God, when I forget, please give me a nudge and number them for me."

By Hannah Keeley of For Every Mom



When was the last time you gave your child a bath, washed their hair, carried them, or buckled them up?  I already miss some of the things I used to be able to do for Emma - giving her a bath, holding her while she had her bottle, rocking her to sleep, and helping her get dressed.  

We have to live in the moment.  While we can't keep our children babies, we have to live in the moment as we will never have that moment back.

What do you miss?

Lasting impressions

We often do not realize the impact that we have as parents.  We worry about everything around our children, but often forget to look at ourselves.  It isn't just the friends at school, the shows on tv, the games being played, or the music being listened to that impact our children the most.  We impact our children the most.

We may yell at our children in a moment of anger, but that is carried with them for the rest of their life.  We may forget about it 5 minutes later, but you have already made that impact.  We may show our anger by say things, yelling, throwing things, but then wonder why our child shows their anger that way.  They are because we are showing them how to act.  We are showing them how to speak, and how to yell.  However, when they yell at us, or throw things we immediately want to punish them.  Who is punishing us for our bad behavior?

You may think it is okay because you are the parent, and they understand that you can do it but they can't.  How does that make sense?  It isn't like driving or voting there isn't an age requirement.  Why are we showing bad behaviors, but then get upset when they show the same behaviors?  However, if our children do something good we want to boast about how they are like us.  Guess what. When your child repeats your bad behaviors they are being like us as well.

Last night I saw a family in which the dad was being rude to the children.  I couldn't help but think of the lasting impression he was leaving.  Was he showing the little girl that a real man treats his children the way she was being treated?  Was he showing his son that he wasn't valued? The dad made comments about how everyone was looking at him, but he never thought to step back and look at his actions.  Needless to say he left an impression on us, and I am pretty sure it left a lasting impression on his children.

With our children we have to think of the lasting impressions.  Maybe we are angry, but how are we teaching them to react when they are angry?  Are we showing them to take a deep breath or yell, to count to 10 or to hit, to step away or throw things?  Not only that, but how are we teaching them to be adults?  I wondered once I got home how the dad would feel if the daughter grew up and was with a man treating her like her dad had just treated her.  Would he even realize that he had also treated her that way?  Chances are he would be angry at the thought of someone treating his daughter that way.  Never realizing he also treated her mom that way.

When you think about how you treat your children please realize that you are teaching them not only how to treat others, but also how they should be treated.  Should your child be treated with respect, love, care, and understanding?  Then you are the first person to teach that to your child.

What lasting impression are you leaving on your child?

Let's join together for more laughs and giggles.

Of course a day as a mommy isn't always laughs and giggles, but we need to take the time to add laughs and giggles to our day.  Not only do we need it, but our children also need it.  We can be rushed in the mornings, then they go off to school, then they come home to a stressed mommy and daddy.  They are just happy to see us and while we are happy to see them we often let life get in the way.  We are worried about homework, dinner, bath, bed, and forget to just stop and spend time with our children. 

While we do have to focus on homework, dinner, bath, and getting ready for tomorrow we also need to focus on enjoying our children.  Why not ask them to help you make dinner, or while dinner cooks take a moment to dance, or sing in the kitchen?  We have to show our children that they are important, not just tell them that they are.   Do you tell your child they are important, and more importantly do you show them that they are important?

I am not saying that I am the perfect mommy, I know I am far from it.  However, we all have to realize that our children will not always be the age they are now.  Emma isn't the cuddling baby any more, but I need to take advantage of the times that she does want to cuddle. 

Please don't take this as I am perfect and you need to be more like me.  I believe that all parents, and humans in general, can learn from each other.  If you have a parenting tip please share it with me, if you have a way to involve my child in every day things that I need to do, please tell me.  To me this isn't a competition of who is the better parent, but a way for all of us to become better parents.  Our children are facing an ever changing world that isn't the same as when we grew up, so we need to approach the world differently. 

There are many topics that as parents we have to face that are not laughs and giggles, and I believe it is better to face them together.  As women we often become judgmental of other women and mommies.  "Oh why did she do that?" "Why is she, or her child wearing that?" "Why did she just talk to her child that way?" However, we often do not think to stop and offer her.  I try to offer help, but also try to remember to ask for advice.

What parenting tip would you like to share with me, or wished had been shared with you sooner?