Things that will never be the same again...

When you are pregnant are thinking about having a child you often hear "___ will never be the same again".  the blank can be filled in with your body, your weight, your life, your house, and your heart.  Most people do not tell you that the following things will never be the same either.  However, I have found that the following things I will never see, hear, or view the same anymore either.

1. The news - We all know that the majority of the news is bad stuff.  Sadly enough I can't always escape the news because my job deals with crime.  Watching them interview a child who just saw their friend shot in school outrages me.  Why would you ask this poor child to tell them about it, when we all know it is playing over and over in her head.  Maybe talking about it is good for her - but to a professional not a reporter.  The cries of a parent who just lost their child in a crime, the cries of the child who just lost their parent, and the heartbreak felt throughout the community.  The story of the child shot in the stroller, the parents who are upset that after insemination is upset that they are expecting twins, the parent who left their child in the car, the child who was abducted, and the list goes on and on.  My way of dealing with this - not watching the news.  Of course at work I can't escape it, but I can make sure that I do at home.

2. Music - GOODNESS.  Songs have always spoken to me, but now it is even worse.  Some songs that stick out in my mind "My Wish", "In my Daughter's Eyes", and lots of others.  They make me think of the feelings before Emma, the feelings now, and the thoughts of her in the future.  I believe that music can say things that in regular conversation you do not catch.  I love music, and the words often catch my attention.
A little of the lyrics from those two songs:

My Wish - Rascal Flatts
But more than anything, yeah, and more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

In My Daughter's Eyes - Martina McBride
And the world is at peace,
This miracle god gave to me,
Gives me strength when I am weak,
I find reason to believe,
In my daughter's eyes

And when she wraps her hand around my finger,
How it puts a smile in my heart,
Everything becomes a little clearer,
I realize what life is all about,
It's hanging on when your heart is had enough,
It's giving more when you feel like giving up,
I've seen the light,
It's in my daughter's eyes

This song really spoke to me during our journey with infertility.  Laura Story "Blessings"
We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your word is not enough
And all the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

3. Movies - It seems like you feel more of the emotions, and think more of yourself in that situation.  The child watching the violence, the parents trying to protect their child, etc.  Not to mention not wanting Emma to watch the violence.  It seems that every adult movie is either stupid or full of bad language and violence.  I find more joy and laughter in most children's movies than I do adult movies.  However, the other night Emma and I laid on the couch and watched Safe Haven (okay she only watched part of it).  This is an awesome movie.  We have been to the movie set three times, I had read the book, and so happy that I finally watched the movie.

4. Clothing - This goes a couple of directions.  First of all girl clothing (even young girl clothing) is way too revealing.  I realize that Emma will only wear those items if I purchase them, and I do not see them in our future.  Second, I saw a onsie in Wal-Mart that said does this diaper make my butt look big? Really! on an infant?  Maybe it is funny to some, but so is name calling, bullying, and lots of other things.  Third, I do not go out shopping for me new clothes because it is so much more fun to find clothes for Emma.  I had rather her get the new shoes, clothes, etc rather than me buying myself another outfit.

5. Life in general.  Life is too short and I realize that now more than ever.  In the blink of an eye I have gone from infertility, pregnant, birth, to now a toddler.  Wow, life has NEVER moved so quickly before. Treasure each moment and every day - you do not get the chance to live that day over again.  We do not live in the movie Groundhog Day, so this is your only shot - what will you do with it?

After infertility and after having a child there are a lot of things that will never be the same again.  However, I would not change them for the world!  Every day is a new adventure, and the best one is the one happening today!