My daughter's strength

I have often said that our children teach us so much more than we teach them.  Emma has taught me so much about her, life, and strength in the past couple of weeks.  We lost my grandfather, my hero, on March 21st, 2016 at 2:05 am.  That is a moment that completely changed my life.

Emma visited with him in the hospital and had such a connection with him.  She told me one night he was crying for his Mama.  His face was dry (to me) but she later told me that he was crying, and she could tell because of the tears on his face.  She would walk out of the hospital and start singing Jesus Loves Me, or Go Tell it on the Mountain.  We talked about heaven and that Papa may be leaving us to go to heaven, and she never batted an eye.

After he passed away and I told her, she said okay he isn't sick any more.  She later told me that he didn't have pain in his back, leg, ankle, elbow, or anywhere any more.  When I explained about the funeral home visitation and that people may be upset she said "why, he is with JESUS!"  She has reassured me in my faith, by being so strong in hers.  She went to the visitation and wanted to see Papa but then said that's not Papa because he is with Jesus.  Since then she has said hey Papa a few times when we go by the hospital, or his house.  One morning she said "I miss you Papa" and I said "I miss you too Papa.

This 3 year old has taught me so much!  I am not saying she will not have days that she questions why or how, but she is such an amazing little girl.  I told a nurse that Emma got her spunk from Papa and now I wonder what all she did get from him.  I can only hope she got an ounce of his love, faith, joy, passion, and determination.

May the work I've done speak for me.

Raymond Dalton

November 21, 1931 - March 21, 2016

The woman I am raising

A few weeks ago I saw the following quote on facebook and it really spoke to me, not only as a woman but also as a mommy.

It is so hard to think that I am in fact raising a woman.  While today she is my 3 year old firecracker, she is growing every day.  In the blink of an eye I will look at her and see a woman instead of my bubbly, giggling little girl.  I will admit that even typing that brought a tear to my eyes.  I look down and I have a sticker on my hand that she put there before school this morning.  I can hear her saying "mommy cuddle me" this morning.  So, yes it does make me sad to think that those days will come to an end and my little girl will one day go off and face the world as a woman.

I can't change the fact that she is growing up, but I can change how I approach her growing up.  I can sit back and be in tears or jump in and enjoy the ride.  I have loved every stage she has gone through up to and including this point in her life.  However, there is still a part of me that misses her being the baby that I rocked to sleep.  I can never get those days back, but guess what I can't get this morning back either.  I can take the extra minute tonight and tomorrow to cuddle her, but it isn't the same cuddle as I had this morning.

This morning I ran across the following article.  While I do not like some of the language in the article the message is very clear.  What do we praise more about our children their looks or their inner beauty?  I always try to tell Emma how smart she is, how nice she is, how helpful she is, but do we as parents do that enough?  Sadly when most women have low self-esteem it says that we do not do it enough. 

https://www.romper.com/p/what-happened-when-i-stopped-complimenting-my-daughters-appearance-3876?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=partnerships&utm_campaign=TheStir

I hope that you take the time to recognize all of the beauty of your child.  How do you make it a point to let your child know that they are smart, helpful, and wonderfully made?

Our Christmas

After the crazy year in our life Christmas was just what we needed. Since 2015 was so crazy with jobs and finances I wondered how Christmas would play out.

We went to have breakfast with Santa one morning and he was telling Emma how Santa represents the three wise men that went to visit Jesus. I had heard of parents telling their kids they could pick three gifts from Santa to represent the three wise men, but I hadn't given it much thought. This Santa continued to talk to her about Jesus and she told him that Christmas was Jesus's birthday. She then told him 3 things she wanted.

Later that same day we saw a different Santa and she also told that Santa the same 3 things that she wanted for Christmas. I realized this is a great way for her not only to realize what Christmas really is about but to also keep her from making a mile long list. She continued to tell people the same 3 three items that she wanted from Santa.

On December 23rd we made cupcakes for Jesus's birthday and talked more about his birthday leading up to Christmas. Santa brought her the 3 gifts that she asked for, and we had birthday cupcakes for Jesus.

I am so proud of her for not begging for each and every toy, and more importantly loves Jesus! I am so thankful for a churcg, family, friends, and teachers that not only love her but also point her to Jesus.

We had a wonderful Christmas and I loved learning how to make the focus of Christmas Jesus. I hope you had a wonderful Christmas as well.

Lasting impressions

We often do not realize the impact that we have as parents.  We worry about everything around our children, but often forget to look at ourselves.  It isn't just the friends at school, the shows on tv, the games being played, or the music being listened to that impact our children the most.  We impact our children the most.

We may yell at our children in a moment of anger, but that is carried with them for the rest of their life.  We may forget about it 5 minutes later, but you have already made that impact.  We may show our anger by say things, yelling, throwing things, but then wonder why our child shows their anger that way.  They are because we are showing them how to act.  We are showing them how to speak, and how to yell.  However, when they yell at us, or throw things we immediately want to punish them.  Who is punishing us for our bad behavior?

You may think it is okay because you are the parent, and they understand that you can do it but they can't.  How does that make sense?  It isn't like driving or voting there isn't an age requirement.  Why are we showing bad behaviors, but then get upset when they show the same behaviors?  However, if our children do something good we want to boast about how they are like us.  Guess what. When your child repeats your bad behaviors they are being like us as well.

Last night I saw a family in which the dad was being rude to the children.  I couldn't help but think of the lasting impression he was leaving.  Was he showing the little girl that a real man treats his children the way she was being treated?  Was he showing his son that he wasn't valued? The dad made comments about how everyone was looking at him, but he never thought to step back and look at his actions.  Needless to say he left an impression on us, and I am pretty sure it left a lasting impression on his children.

With our children we have to think of the lasting impressions.  Maybe we are angry, but how are we teaching them to react when they are angry?  Are we showing them to take a deep breath or yell, to count to 10 or to hit, to step away or throw things?  Not only that, but how are we teaching them to be adults?  I wondered once I got home how the dad would feel if the daughter grew up and was with a man treating her like her dad had just treated her.  Would he even realize that he had also treated her that way?  Chances are he would be angry at the thought of someone treating his daughter that way.  Never realizing he also treated her mom that way.

When you think about how you treat your children please realize that you are teaching them not only how to treat others, but also how they should be treated.  Should your child be treated with respect, love, care, and understanding?  Then you are the first person to teach that to your child.

What lasting impression are you leaving on your child?