You are my sunshine

In the mornings when we are getting ready for work and daycare Em always wants cuddle time.  Most of the time I hold her and we chat, but the past couple of weeks I decided to change it up some.  I have started holding her and while swaying back and forth singing you are my sunshine.

I do this not only for her but also for myself.  There will come a time that I can't hold her and sing to her, and while I have this moment I want to take advantage of it.  I may not be the best Mommy, let me take that back I know I am not the best Mommy.  There are times that I don't follow through with only one more book statement, that I let her have sweets when she probably doesn't need them, or keep a spotless house.  However, I try to do meaningful things with her, and instill in her that she is my sunshine.  She makes the grey skies blue again, warms my heart, and changes my day.

I do it for her, so she knows that she is a blessing, she does matter, and she is beautiful.  How often do we see teenage girls who do not value themselves.  Do not get me wrong all of that is not related to parenting, but a lot of it is.  The parents control what the girls watch on tv which leads to self image, but the girls also see their self worth from parents.  I want my daughter to know that she is not only beautiful but also smart, funny, and creative.  I want her to have her self worth, and know she is priceless.

If as parents we do not teach this then who will? Are we going to rely on the friends who may influence her to follow the crowd, or will we step up and remind them to be true to themselves.  Rely on the bullies to tell them everything that is "ugly" about them, or will we teach them how beautiful and unique they are made?  Rely on tv to show them how to dress to get what they want, or will we teach them that their value isn't based on less clothing?  You see every choice we make directly influences them.  Take a week and look at how you speak to your child, how you behave, and how your child is behaving.  Then next week change something about how you speak to your child, or how you behave take a moment and look at the changes in your child.

You see while we are so busy looking at how the world impacts our children we often miss how much we are impacting our children.  Last night Emma was playing and all of a sudden started singing you are my sunshine.  Now imagine if we continue to instill this into our children, and they are faced with a difficult situation how will they react?  I doubt when she is older and faced with a difficult decision she will sing you are my sunshine, but I hope she thinks of something wise that her imperfect mommy told her.  Maybe if she has a boyfriend that isn't treating her right, she will hear in her head how many times her daddy has told her that she is beautiful and he loves her.  Maybe when someone is telling her that she can't she will remember us telling her to try again.  I hope in those moments she is able to know her value, worth, and beauty.

Have you taken the time to tell your child that they are your sunshine?  No matter their age, they need to know that they are valued.  How many of us as adults need to know that we are valued?

The woman I am raising

A few weeks ago I saw the following quote on facebook and it really spoke to me, not only as a woman but also as a mommy.

It is so hard to think that I am in fact raising a woman.  While today she is my 3 year old firecracker, she is growing every day.  In the blink of an eye I will look at her and see a woman instead of my bubbly, giggling little girl.  I will admit that even typing that brought a tear to my eyes.  I look down and I have a sticker on my hand that she put there before school this morning.  I can hear her saying "mommy cuddle me" this morning.  So, yes it does make me sad to think that those days will come to an end and my little girl will one day go off and face the world as a woman.

I can't change the fact that she is growing up, but I can change how I approach her growing up.  I can sit back and be in tears or jump in and enjoy the ride.  I have loved every stage she has gone through up to and including this point in her life.  However, there is still a part of me that misses her being the baby that I rocked to sleep.  I can never get those days back, but guess what I can't get this morning back either.  I can take the extra minute tonight and tomorrow to cuddle her, but it isn't the same cuddle as I had this morning.

This morning I ran across the following article.  While I do not like some of the language in the article the message is very clear.  What do we praise more about our children their looks or their inner beauty?  I always try to tell Emma how smart she is, how nice she is, how helpful she is, but do we as parents do that enough?  Sadly when most women have low self-esteem it says that we do not do it enough. 

https://www.romper.com/p/what-happened-when-i-stopped-complimenting-my-daughters-appearance-3876?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=partnerships&utm_campaign=TheStir

I hope that you take the time to recognize all of the beauty of your child.  How do you make it a point to let your child know that they are smart, helpful, and wonderfully made?