Parenting Style

So today I was having lunch with a friend and we starting talking about parenting styles.  I will be the first to admit that I do things that shock other parents.  We often laugh because people comment on how relaxed I am with Em that they wonder how I would be with a second child.  Truth being told I do not think I would be any different.

These are the Top 5 the things that people seem most shocked by.

1 - The day that Emma came home from the hospital we took a nap and then went out to dinner and walmart.

2 - I let her play with balloons when she was under a year old.

3 - I didn't move things off of the coffee table, or out of her reach.  We used it as teaching moments of what she did or didn't need to mess with.

4 - Things new parents often want that we didn't - pack n play, swing, bassinet, and walker.  She would play in the floor, use the swing at daycare, slept in her bed as soon as she came home, and besides the fact of the walker being bad for her muscles she would walk while pushing her toys.

5 - She was in a toddler bed when she turned one, and a regular bed when she was two (no side rails either).

Did you do any of those?  I am not saying that my way of parenting is perfect, but it is perfect for us.

What have you been surprised by regarding your way of parenting?  Have you done something that really shocked others? What would be your top 5?

Are we teaching our children, or are they teaching us?

I just found this post from last year and realized that I never published it. Hope you enjoy it even though it is late. 

I have realized over the past 19 months that our children teach us more than we could ever teach them. While we are worrying about teaching them about life, they are teaching us what life is all about.

At the end of the work day there are often chores and tasks that need to be done at home; supper to be cooked, house to be cleaned, and stuff to get ready for tomorrow.  While doing these things were are often losing today.  The other night Emma had helped me make supper and afterwards she was getting tired, of course I was thinking "let me finish this one last thing" and in all honesty I probably said that to her.  She looked at me and said "wait".  I few seconds later it dawned on me that what I was doing could wait, so she could have time with me before bedtime.  I asked her if she what she wanted to play, and off we went.

I am sure that some people wish my house was cleaner, car was cleaner, and that I did more house work.  However, I will have plenty of time to clean up when Emma is grown up.  Why not take this time enjoy her, and let her enjoy life?  My house is not filthy so no need to call DSS or anyone, it is just not a priority over my child.

I saw this and it sums it up perfectly for me:

Life is busy and we have jobs, family, friends, and children pulling us in different directions.  Sometimes you have to step back and see what is important.  We often try to rush to get things done and then look back and realize we missed wonderful opportunities.  Of course hindsight is 20/20, but this is another quote that really spoke to me.

Sometimes when Emma wants or needs a hug it is a short one, but sometimes she just wants me to hold her.  Who am I to decide how much of a hug she needs.  Maybe she missed me, or maybe she just wants me to know she loves me.  I am so thankful that I have her to hug, and hold that if she wants a thousand hugs a day I will gladly be there with arms wide open.

I hope that you can start to see the areas in your day where you can take the time to enjoy the moment with your child.  Once that moment has passed you will never get it again.  As someone told me a couple of weeks ago "the Emma that left your house this morning is never coming back, she will be changed".  I will admit that broke my heart, but sometimes we forget that they are changing and growing everyday.  

Snow day

Okay not a full snow day- right now Emma's daycare is on a 2 hr delay. Yesterday when I got home Emma painted snow and snowflakes while I fixed supper. Then after we ate we went outside to play. We didn't get a lot of snow but decided to enjoy what we did have.

After we played in the snow, we came in and fixed hot chocolate. This was the first time Emma had hot chocolate, and I think she enjoyed the colored marshmallows more than the actual hot chocolate.  Before she went to bed we had to open the door so she could tell the snow night night.

So this morning we are on delay. She woke up early but decided to lay back down in mama and daddy's bed.

As I lay here and watch her sleep I realize that she has a lot in common with a snowflake. 1) she was created uniquely by God 2) there is no one else like her 3) she is beautiful 4) she changes my day 5) people's face light up when they see her.

Of course there are funny things snowflakes and Emma have in common as well 1) both can change your plans at the drop of a hat 2) both will have you running to the store for milk 3) both make the journey of getting to your destination an adventure 4) both bring out the little kid in me 5) you rarely know what to expect from either of them. 

I hope everyone is safe this morning, and please take a moment to look at the snow and see what you have in common with it. 

A lazy Sunday

Since it was rainy and a chance of freezing rain we decided to stay home today instead of going to church.  I know it may not have been the best decision since it ended up just being rain, but I didn't want to chance it.  As many of you know the weather in North Carolina is far from predictable.  To begin our lazy day we had breakfast, cleaned, and played with Emma.  Sometimes the lazy days seem to be the busiest as Emma is busy playing and wanting us to join in the play time.  Believe me, we do not mind joining in on whatever she has decided to play with.

While she took a nap I ordered some pictures.  When you get a coupon code for Shutterfly you can't pass it up.  So as I was ordering the pictures I began looking back at 2013.  Wow did the year fly by, and boy did Emma change.  She went from a baby to a toddler.  From sitting up and crawling to running around and talking.  She went from eating baby food to helping me make her lunch.  From a bottle to a cup without a lid on it.  Her personality to coming through so much.  Last night while giving her a bath I asked "are we going to wash your hair?", her response was priceless "no ma'am".  She is such a blessing to us, and we do not take a moment for granted.

I have struggled with this post for the past few minutes because I have a hard time talking about both of these topics at the same time, but I can't do a sad post by itself so I apologize in advance if this post is all over the place.  I am overwhelmed with the joy of looking back and seeing Emma grow over the past year, but also know the hurt that some feel because they have spent the last year trying to have a child of their own.  I am also aware of  people who have suffered the loss of a child in the past year. Maybe it is because of just going through the holidays and having extra days at home with Emma, or the spirit of the season, or maybe just because it is a rainy day and my mommy emotions are high.  Anyway, here is the sad part weighing on my heart.

There are so many people who suffer the unimaginable loses of children.  I just read an article online about precious baby Olivia who passed away 5 days after being born due to injuries from her birth.  The doctor had refused to do a C-Section and instead tried to use forceps.  Problem is that the innocent baby suffered a skull injury from the force of the forceps.  I cannot imagine what this family is going through.  I have a friend that has dealt with infertility for a while and in 2013 after a successful IVF suffered a miscarriage. I cannot imagine her pain dealing with this loss either.  With so many who cannot have children, lose their children before they even have them, and for the ones who suffer the loss for their child for any reason I cannot imagine the pain.  I cannot imagine what feelings, emotions, and thoughts that person had.  I try to have an interactive, loving, and engaged parenting style because I know how much I wanted this child.  I also know that there are people everywhere praying for a child that they may never be able to have, or suffering the loss of their precious child.  All I can offer are my thoughts, prayers, and to continue to not take a single day with my daughter for granted because none of us are promised tomorrow.

I have always heard that if you have something bad then you sandwich it between good things so with keeping with a crazy all over the place post here the second good part goes.  Looking back at 2013

        

  

  
   
   
   
  
  
  
   
   

Goodbye 2013, Hello 2014

Looking back 2013 was a year full of wonderful memories, but now we have a wonderful new year to create even more memories.

Some of the highlights from 2013 in no particular order:

• Emma turning 1 of course!
• Emma starting to walk, talk, and watching her personality come out
• reconnecting with my brother Tony, and watching him interact with Emma
• great time at the beach 
• great services at OBC
• a friend and fellow infertile having her adorable son
• watching Emma interact with everyone, and how seeing how much everyone loves her
• Seeing Emma's face when she saw Christmas lights, trees, and Santa
• hearing Emma say Love You (which just happened for the first time a couple of weeks ago)
• watching Emma's first Christmas program at daycare

Of course there were things everyday that made my day, but I figure you don't want to read 365 things that I enjoyed.  I have a calendar that I have in Emma's room and every day/event I note something on her calendar.  Of course I miss some days, but I will do better this year.  Just in the last 2 weeks Emma has switched to a toddler bed, and today operation paci gone began.  

I can't imagine how much she will change this year, or how much she will change my life, but I will cherish every moment.  I think 2014 will be a blast full of memories, laughs, and one energetic little girl that steals my heart everyday.  I pray that 2014 will find us in good health, good spirits, and finding the joy in the little things everyday.

Looking to 2014

With a new year is a new slate ready to be written on. What will you write in 2014?  I have been thinking about what goals I want to set and meet in the new year. 

I want to continue to grow closer to God. By working on this relationship I will continue to work on myself. I will become a better Christian which lead to being a better wife, mother, daughter, friend, family member, coworker, employee, and person as a whole. I am not perfect and do not claim to be, but we all can continue to improve ourselves. 

I want to have a cleaner year. Less drama, less conflict, less fast food, less clutter, and less stress. Way too often we get caught up in the things that do not matter. These things can be at work, with family, or with friends. However it drags you down in all aspects of your life. I want to have less of this. 

I want to do more with Emma and my family. Not the expensive trips but the priceless things. Playing games, playing outside, diddling with her, and enjoying her while she is little. She has grown so fast already and I want to enjoy her childhood. 

I will budget more, save more, and most of all live more. I will be happier, laugh more, and take time to enjoy the small things more.  

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.  See, I am doing a new thing!  Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?  I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”  Isaiah 43:18-19

It won't be like this for long

Many of you know the song that line comes from, but oh how true it is.  Before you know it the days, months, and years have flown by. You plan for the birthdays, the holidays, and Christmas then befre you know it those special days have passed. The seasons change and the years fly by. I never realized how quick time goes until Emma. I want to get the most of everyday with her, and too often there isn't enough time in the day. Here lately I have tried to do more. More cuddling, more holding, more playing, more talking, more listening, and more activities. When she gets older will I feel like it was enough?  More importantly when she gets older will she feel it was enough?  

So I actually started this post a few days ago, okay maybe a week or more ago.  Then I got busy with work and being a mommy. Today I ran across this link on Facebook. When I watched it I realized that it is the perfect ending to my post. Please take a moment and watch it. I was in tears because the moms on there have some if the same fears and concerns as Ido. But wait until you hear from their children. 

http://www.upworthy.com/these-kids-finally-say-what-they-really-think-about-mom-and-her-reaction-priceless-9